The Last Days in Jaisalmer and My Birthday

    Although touring on the 30th did help cheer me up sadly it wouldn't last. After returning to my room I called my husband to share about my day. That's when he told me his grandfather had just passed away. It's such an ugly feeling to be so far from home when something like this happens. I honestly always assumed it was my sister's funeral I might miss by traveling, not Grandads. While I felt awful that I couldn't be there to support my husband, I wasn't actually sad. Grandad was an amazing man who lived a full life to the age of 99. Most people never get that lucky. Yes, I would definitely miss him and all his worldly wisdom, but I was ok with him moving on to a place where he's get to be with family again and discover all the answers to life's mysteries. I'm really awkward when it comes to death. I didn't cry at my father's funeral. I didn't cry at my grandmother's funeral either, yet if I'm really angry or you hurt my feelings......I cry like a child. 

After my first trip to India, Grandad wanted to hear about everything and see pictures. This time when I returned I would not be able to do that. Instead of feeling sad, I felt like he was able to be there with me. Like he could finally see everything he wanted to through his own eyes. That part mad me feel better. Also, the funeral would not take place till after I got home so I was able to attend. Which is a good thing.

My original plan for January 31st, which was my last full day in Jaisalmer, I had intended to stay in my room and do nothing. I was still upset about my friend not being there with me and I just didn't feel like being around people. Two things motivated me to get out that day. The first was going to a temple to have a prayer said for grandad. The other was my sister Heid's voice in my head telling me to "get over myself already." I was here in India, on a trip I worked hard to pay for and I was going to sit in my room and mope? No way. So the first thing I did was contact my driver. I asked him to take me to the temple we went to the day before so a priest could say a prayer/ blessing or whatever for Grandad. Then I asked him if we could go silver shopping. I try to buy something that represents each city I visit. Jaisalmer is know for it's silver jewelry. So off we went. 

That day I just threw on whatever clothes and no makeup. I wasn't in the mood to care. Now as I look back at the temple video I wish I had chosen a better shirt now than Hello Kitty, but it is what it is. Here is the video of the prayer being said to wish Grandad a safe and happy journey to whatever is next. I have no idea what he is actually saying. I had to shorten it, but you get the idea.

Being in the temple made me feel calm which was good. Something about being in India just always makes me feel happy. Now it was time for shopping. When you travel through India with a tour company you learn very quickly that your driver is the person to consult about shopping. They usually know the local artisans, but more importantly they will take you to shops that charge a fair price. Other shops on the route may look super cute and fun, but the upcharge is ridiculous. 

Near the fort my driver called a man to meet us. The shop is located in his family home so he needed to lead us there. In any other country this would sound totally sketchy, but in India you just roll with it. After walking down so really crazy streets that looked like we might be on a dug run, we arrived. The home was three stories. I took off my shoes on the bottom floor and we went upstairs. The bottom floor is where they create the jewelry, but upstairs is where you buy. Just passed his sleeping area, like I literally walked through his bedroom, was a well lit room full of items. 

On our way to buy jewelry.

One of the owners displaying his handiwork.

While I saw so many things that I wanted to buy, my money was starting to get tight. So I finally settled on a quartz and silver bracelet for myself and a pair of moonstone and silver earrings for my mother-in-law. 

It's hard to see but my bracelet sparkles with hues of purple and green.

After shopping I was ready to head back. The next day was my birthday which meant I'd be flying out of Jaisalmer and back to Delhi. When I booked this trip I had not intended to fly on my birthday. No one wants to be in an airport on their birthday. I did that last year when I was flying back to America and it sucked.  I think I ordered chocolate cake and ice cream for dinner this night. I honestly can't remember, but that sounds like me.

February 1st

Yay I'm 47! The night before did not turn out to be the relaxing evening I planned. Since my driver would be returning to Delhi by car, I asked him if I could leave my luggage with him and carry on only what I needed for the night. He discussed it with the company and they said it was fine. Somehow the night before there was all this confusion and stress about it. If there wouldn't be a huge fee to take all my bags with me then I would have. However, flying domestic, with the baggage of an international traveler gets pricey. After many tears and frustration, my driver and I got it settled finally. 

This morning as I was waiting for my driver, my hotel surprised me with a birthday cake! It was 9am and I was very surprised. They even sang me happy birthday. I have no idea how everyone knew, but they did. I took it up to my room and I had it for lunch before I left,lol.

The next mission for my birthday was returning back to the market to pick up a few last minute gifts I had forgotten. A teacher friend asked for a scarf and a small box. My niece wanted a set of puppets, I wanted a couple Rajasthan t-shirts, and I hope to find this camel toy I saw the day before. We arrived earlier than most of the vendors. I guess typical vending time starts around 10 am. We were there at 9am. Luckily other shop vendors we awesome and helped us contact who we needed. I was able to find everything including the elusive camel toy. It was the only one I had ever seen and I knew I'd regret not buying it.

These t-shirts are so touristy but they make me laugh.

The elusive rocking camel.

At noon my driver picked me up for our trek to the airport. Jaisalmer only has a military airport. They allow Indigo and Air India to fly out of it as well. It's a super tiny place. After I was checked in and made it through security I was finally able to grab the only food I recognized and some water. I think it was an over=sized cucumber sandwich. It was alright. my flight which originally was supposed to leave at noon, had been rescheduled to leave at 2:50. This meant I wouldn't even reach Delhi till 5pm. I wasn't too thrilled about that.

The original birthday plan was supposed to be Jain and I going out to dinner somewhere while I wore my new sari. Since that wasn't going to happen I had a new plan. My wonderful tattoo artist Ankit, offered to take me out that night. He is a very busy person so I felt honored he would make time for me. He said I was a guest in his country and I should not be left alone on my birthday. He truly is the best man. So this was the new plan, but even that would get screwed up.

I finally arrived in Delhi around 6pm. To make matters worse it took 1 1/2 hours to drive to my hotel the Suryaa from the airport! Last year my final night was in a hotel close to the airport. Why they didn't do that this year I have no idea. If you are guessing I was frustrated then you'd be correct. I FINALLY made it into my room by 7pm. It seems two giant bus loads of tourists were checking in the same time I was. What a nightmare! By this point I texted Ankit a few times and told him he didn't need to come. I was too exhausted to go out and I don't party anymore. I'm old and I know it. Nevertheless, he would not let me cancel out. While I waited for him to arrive I had dinner. My favorite chicken dish cooked by the Suryaa chef.

Around 9pm Ankit arrived. He brought me a small chocolate cake and a small gift. Both were unnecessary, but I loved it. We chatted about life for a few hours then he went home. I was actually very happy he had come by. To have someone who barely knows me go out of their way to make my day special… there just aren’t words for that type of kindness. Money, material things are great, but they don’t compare to meeting a genuinely great person. After Ankit left I passed out. It was an exhausting day and I had to get ready to start an even bigger journey tomorrow night; home. 

               Onward to Jaisalmer: Problems and Puppets

        The drive between Dechu and Jaisalmer was 2 1/2 hours. The way this portion of the trip was supposed to go is NOT the way it actually went. As I have mentioned before I have anxiety. It doesn't prevent me from doing things, however I don't like change and I'm a planner. So whenever the plans and expectations I have set up previously don't fall into place I tend not to handle it well at all. When I arrived at my hotel I was excited. It was beautiful and old fashioned which gave it such wonderous charm.

                        The lock to enter my room. I had to take this giant key every day.

The little windows were awesome. I could open small areas if I wanted, but if I did sometimes people could see inside.

The plan for this day was "supposed to" unfold like this: I chill out in my room, eat, wait until my friend Jain arrives later in the evening on his train, then we'd hang out for the rest of my trip and on my birthday. Well, that didn't happen. After I arrived at my hotel Jain messaged me to say he could not join me for any days on the rest of my trip or my birthday. At this point I had 4 days left till I flew back to America. To say I was devastated is the understatement of the year. I'm going to share the reason he had to cancel, not to make him look bad, but as a clear example of just how different life is in an Indian family.

If you've been reading my blogs then you should recall the blog from Jaipur when there was the huge national celebration for the newly opened Rama temple in Ayodhya. This temple opening was such a major event to Hindus that everyone wanted to visit including Jain's family. First, let me explain a little bit about how family life works in India. In India most, not all, families live in a large family home together. Children stay at home until they marry. Then when marriage happens, daughters move into the home of their husband's parents. When sons marry their wife moves into their home with their parents. So for example if Jain were to marry, his wife would join his family in his home. His home has three generations living in it: his parents, his brother, who is married and has two children, and Jain. His sisters are all married and live with their husbands in other cities.

These multi-family homes are very common among families across the Asian continent and in The Middle East. Now that is not to say that some families do not choose a more modern path where children marry and move out to live alone like we do in America. It's just not nearly as common. Living in India is like living in a small town where everyone knows your business. Even at the age of 27, Jain cannot stay outside of his family home without his mother calling to check he is staying even if he's staying with his cousin. People in the cities usually all know each others families and reputation here is EVERYTHING. So if a person decides to go outside the home and do something that is considered shameful, then the entire city will look down upon their family and of course their parents would be furious. Reputation can affect arranged marriages which are still quite common in India. America used to be this way long ago. Think the Colonial period and Civil War eras. Some people could choose their own paths, but most were still under the thumb of their families.

Ok back to the present, Jain's parents and extended family decided to visit this new temple. Unlike America where one's parents would tell you they are planning a trip so you can adjust your plans, Indian parents don't do this. The night before they all planned to leave, his parents made him aware of this trip and requested he stay home to tend to the house. He had to work each day anyway. If my mother had done this to me I NEVER would have cancelled out on my friend, however this is India. A parent's trust is everything. His parents trust him more than his older brother, which means he is considered the most dependable son. Usually that is the oldest brother's role. So, despite already buying his train ticket to visit me.....he would not relent and come anyway. I know how crazy this sounds. I actually ran this scenario by my driver to see if this was really how Indian families work. He said that it was, Not that I thought my friend would lie to me, especially knowing how upset I'd be, but life in India is hard for foreigners like me to accept sometimes.

I was miserable the entire day. I didn't even want to eat lunch. By the time I decided I had to eat the restaurant was closed until dinner time. When it was time to order I realized I did not have a menu. The front desk actually came to check my room to be sure. I think they thought I was crazy. After I received my menu I ordered. Spaghetti and a great salad. Although why they felt the need to add black olives I'll still never understand. Who is eating all these black olives anyway? Is this a British thing because it's sure not an American one. Sad or not, I had to eat because I had a tour the next day. After dinner I fell asleep watching Netflix.

The next morning I got up and slapped some makeup on, but I refused to do my hair. I wasn't in the mood. I was still upset about the events from the day before AND it was my sister Heidi's 62nd birthday. Heidi is/was my oldest sister who passed away in December 2023. It had only been a month and it suddenly hit me hard. When I met my tour guide he was very nice and I knew I seemed like a total grouch butt. So I told him about my sister because I didn't want him to think I was unhappy with him. He was very understanding and kind and eventually he actually cheered me up!

First we went to the Gadisar Lake area. There we were able to catch a beautiful glimpse of the entire Jaisalmer Fort and see the lake. It's a man made lake that considered holy. It's loaded with Hindu shrines and catfish, however fishing is not permitted. People are permitted to rent foot paddle boat to go out on the lake if they wish, but we did not. Here are some of the things I saw:

                                                                         Jaisalmer Fort 

                                                           One of the lake entrance gates.

Tons of catfish in the lake.

Some adorable puppies I saw cheered me up.

A local man walking wearing a dhoti (the bottom part of his outfit) Most men don't wear them anymore as they are considered outdated. This was one of my hardest pictures to capture.

                                                      A local temple we stopped in.

Next stop was Jaisalmer Fort. Unlike other forts in India that have been transferred into historical sites or museums, this fort still has people living in it. It was beautiful and crazy all at the same time.  It reminded me of Gondor from Lord of the Rings: The return of the King. The fort is a mix of shops, homes, temples, hotels, restaurants, and local people going about their day and tourists. Motorbikes and bulls fill the narrow streets as people try to do their own business around them. To me it was wonderful. I could only imagine how beautiful and fun it would be at night. If I ever visit again I'll definitely stay at a hotel in the fort to find out.

Entering the fort.

Havelis describes this type of architecture style and is one of the the things that Jaisalmer is famous. 

The entire fort is filled with Havelis. Some are very, very old and some are newly built in the old style. Behind all these havelis are various homes and businesses. I cannot imagine trying to go about my daily life with tourists milling around my building, but I suppose they are used to it. 

These are sati handprints which mark the entrance to the Jaisalmer Fort Palace. These handprints were made by widows of the king who committed self-immolation (committing suicide at a loved one's funeral) when their husband passed away in ancient times.

A typical street inside the fort.

We continued to walk through the fort until we reached a Jain temple. Is it a coincidence that my friend's last name is Jain and their are Jain temples? No. The Jains are an offshoot of Hinduism like Protestants are a offshoot of Catholics. Jains believe in all the same Gods and Goddesses as Hindus, but with a few variations. I don't know them all, but I'll share what I've learned from my friend. The Jains are strict vegetarians. They never eat meat and they do not believing in harming any creature in nature. For example they will move a spider outside, but they won't crush it. Another difference is their Jain shrines. They are often quite similar to those of Buddha, however the eyes on their statues are always open. 

This white version is clay covered in a thick coating of precious crushed pearls.

Lord Parshvanath the 23rd Tirthankar of Jainism is often depicted in the black color. I'm not sure why. 

 

Inside the fort there are 7 Jain temples that added together house 6000 Jain statues! During the time of King Jaisal the Jains were actually a wealthier group than the king himself. Therefore they never lived inside the fort. They built much bigger homes outside the fort. However, their temples needed protecting so they struck a deal with the king. If the King agreed to protect their beautiful Jain temples then the Jains would agree to finance his fort. Both kept their promises and remain just as they did hundreds of years ago. So what's up with all the statues? The Silk Road and it's usage diminished once Pakistan was formed in 1947. Many Jains, who were merchants, have to move to start shops elsewhere and decided to donate them to the temples. 

Here is a big picture dump of their beautiful carvings from the two I visited:

A better view of the carved ceiling from the previous picture.

A couple pics from another temple close by.

After the temples we headed into the winding streets of the fort. Eventually we came to the very street that my tour guide and his family lived on. He invited me over for a cup of chai masala, since I've never actually been inside anyone's home from India before. I really wanted to take pictures, but I didn't want to make things awkward. While his wife was making us tea, he told me about his family. He explained that his family were the Brahmin caste. Brahmins are considered one of the highest status of the four social classes in India. He explained how his family has always lived within this fort since the very beginning over several generations. The exact same spot. He said because of the status of his ancestors they are required to pay no rent for their home. That's cool. 

Since I didn't take any pictures i absorbed everything with my eyes. To enter his home we had to walk up four stone steps. There we entered a small sitting room. The walls were pastel colors. Pictures of his children's weddings adorned the wall along with a large medical poster. I asked him about the poster and he explained it was for when the doctor visits. Apparently it tells what illness/medications everyone in the house has/takes. We have medical ID bracelets so I thought that was crazy, but whatever works. His home was not spread out like a ranch style home like Texas. It was more tall going up three levels. Behind the wall of the room where we were was a kitchen. Beside the kitchen was a stairway that lead to the next level and another kitchen. He and his wife live with his brother and his wife and his parents. Each family stays on a different level. I told him how unusual I thought that was. He said he loved it because if someone was cooking a meal you didn't want you could go eat at another level of the house. We had a good laugh at that. I think they had a small air conditioner, but the entire home was made from stone with windows designed to facilitate air flow. It was quite ingenious for being so old. 

In the front, once you walk back down the four steps you are literally on the street. Bulls, as you can see below,  are walking wherever they wish, so of course that means there is poop here and there. I wondered how they dealt with that? Then right as we were leaving I observed his wife, in a beautiful sari no less, walk out with a big bucket of water and a broom. Apparently each morning the ladies of the house pour water over their areas in front of their stairways then sweep to keep everything clean and fresh. Sometimes when I look around India and see trash, cow poop, and other things I just wonder how people live like that. This showed me that they don't. While they may not be able to control the bulls, or the messiness of living in a country of 1 billion people, I saw that they do take pride in their personal spaces. That sounds stupid, I know, but living in America it's easy to be put off by cultures different from our own. Or even worse assume they are just "backwards." They may not do things the way we might, but they have survived for longer than our country has existed. They must being doing something right.

My guide on his street.

The tiny footprints on the stairs are to welcome goddesses into their homes. I don't believe the main step on it has a swastika, HOWEVER, please remember a swastika in India means something much different than it does anywhere else.

This means:

There are many interpretations available for the 4 legs or branches of the Swastik symbol

Knowledge spread: Lord Brahma, with four faces, imparts sacred knowledge in all directions.

Vedic wisdom: The four Vedas—Rig Veda, Sama Veda, Yajur Veda, and Atharva Veda—are represented.

Life's mims: It embodies the Purusharthas—Dharma (righteousness), Artha (wealth), Kama (desires), and Moksha (liberation).

Life's stages: The four life stages—Brahmacharya (student life), Grihastha (householder), Vanaprastha (retired), and Sannyasa (renunciation).

Social order: The Varnas—Brahman, Kshatriya, Vaishya, and Shudra—are depicted. (From The Times of India.)

AND THIS SYMBOL IS MUCH OLDER THAN THE NAZI PARTY.

 

This is associated with Hitler and the Nazi party. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME.

A wall outside a family home painted with the Hindu God Ganesh. Otherwise known  as the elephant-headed God, represents prosperity. He is worshipped before any major new life change such as a wedding. Here shows all the dates of past family weddings of this home. In the fort everyone is always invited to all celebrations. From what I can tell it shows 3 weddings.

This building was designed by two brothers to determine who the best architect was. Each brother literally did half if you cut it down the middle. If you look very closely especially at the windows you can see the difference in styles. It's used for government functions now, but it's truly amazing.

A view of the city from a restaurant in the fort. At night it would be magical. 

Originally I took this photo for the cute puppy, but now I'm glad I did. I finally figured out what instrument he is play! It's called a Ravanahatha. The precursor to the very first violin.

It sounds like this.

Here are a few more pics from exploring the rest of the afternoon.

My guide told me every woman always cooks an extra plate of food each meal for the dogs. It's good karma. So don't worry about these little guys they are loved.

After some shopping I bid farewell to my guide and had lunch with my driver. I was definitely in a much better mood than I started with that morning. For lunch we ate in a nice rooftop local restaurant. I ordered sweet and sour chicken. It was sour, not really sweet. They gave me a red sauce to add to it which helped. Later I found out it was catsup! I don't know why I didn't take a picture it was hilarious. 

Here are some of the items I bought from the market:

A local artist who lives in the fort painted this. I love art in my home.

This little camel was hand sewn. He wasn't expensive at all the the needle work on it is amazing and it made me smile.

Finally, Rajasthani puppets. I call them the creepy dolls. Last year I forgot to buy my own set so I ordered them off Etsy like a dork and overpaid. These were originally used for puppet shows for the children of royalty. They are still hand carved and sewn to this day and still used for puppet shows for the kids. These are for my sister Wendi. In India these cost $5 USD. 

These puppets crack me up!