Jodhpur Continued.... 

    After leaving the fort we headed off to visit a cenotaph, Jaswant Thada. A cenotaph is a monument or a tomb erected to honor a single person or a family. This particular cenotaph was erected for the royal family of Jodhpur. While I did have my guide with me, this was a building that I could explore on my own. I cannot lie, I was a little more than halfway through my vacation at this point and I was wearing out. I did not take my shoes off to walk inside the tomb or walk down below to explore every monument. It was an extremely beautiful place so I just snapped pictures of what I enjoyed.

Before I did my own exploring I had a very long conversation with my guided about Hindu funeral practices. I'm not quite sure how we ended up on this topic, but I learned so much. He discussed the procedures that his family went through when his grandfather died. Since this is something I've never learned about in any of my history classes I'll pass on the details.

After a family member is cremated, the family will return to their home to perform the Hindu death rituals such as bathing and cleaning the house. If someone has died in their home the are left feeling unclean and impure. Next a Hindu priest will be invited to purify their home with incense, prayers, and mantras. I'm not exactly sure which priest from which temple is invited over. I didn't think to ask. Then it's tradition for the family to share a meal together where they will offer prayers for the departed, themselves, and their house. It's all about creating good karma.

Next, and to me this is the CRAZIEST part, begins the 13 days of mourning. This isn't your typical mourning like we do in America. The rules are intense. For example:

1.The family remains in their home during this entire period. If anything is needed from the store then you have to call someone to bring it to you.

2. They do not attend religious functions or celebrations during this period. so I guess if someone is getting married that changes everything.

3. No reading or reciting from the holy scriptures.

4. Avoidance of eating certain foods like sweets. (I'd die)

5.They are not permitted to touch or go near the family shrine. I'm assuming they mean the one in their own home. but I'm not sure.

6.Not visiting anyone. Everyone can and probably will come to your home to pay their respects, but you are not permitted to go to them.

7. Returning to work was not permitted for my guide till after the 13 days. It varies by family and commitment to the rituals.

During this 13 days grief is meant to be expressed however each individual needs to do it. Whether it be sadness or anger. Hindus believe keeping these emotions bottled up is harmful to the body. And once again it builds positive karma for the deceased entering their next life. Finally, the immediate family males shave their heads. They trim their hair very short in a process called Tonsure. Depending on the group some men will keep a small tab of hair in the back. Different sects of Hindus vary on this. For example when I met my friend Jain last year he had a buzz cut. He told me his grandmother had just died, but I didn't get the connection till he explained. Jainism, which is his faith, does not leave the tuft of hair up top.

                                                              (This is not my friend lol )

There are some rituals that are universal like bringing food to the grieving family. Most of us still experience this here in America. Many Americans choose to celebrate life through drinking. Hindus drink as well, but according to my guide it's usually like a one drink thing. Not like an Irish funeral. When it comes to most things, India isn't always that different from America, however on things like this we couldn't be further apart.. I cannot even imagine what would happen if an entire family had to stop working or going to school for 13 days. Bosses and schools cannot protest because they are Hindu as well. It's just accepted and everything just keeps going. It stressful to me how they can have so many restrictions about certain things, yet no restrictions about others. It's like Alice visiting Wonderland sometimes.

After touring, it was lunch time. This time we headed to a place called On the Rocks. Another local restaurant that caters to the tourists during the day. I was super thankful for chicken biryani I could eat and whatever this orange drink was I ordered. Some type of non-alcoholic thing. Then it was back to the hotel for some relaxation time and a nap before I'd meet Jain after his shift for dinner.

Dinner, for me, was not as successful as lunch. At first we were going to head out somewhere because I wanted to ride on his scootee (scooter). However, since I didn't have a helmet and I'm white, yes he really said this, he voted no. I told him so many people don't wear helmets and never get pulled over. He said this is where my "whiteness" came in and would draw the attention of the police. Of course me being me I didn't care, but he wouldn't give in. Next we thought about ordering from Zomato again, but we couldn't agree on anything....of course. Finally, we settled on room service. He was thrilled because he ordered grilled paneer (tofu). How in the heck do you grill tofu? Anyway, I ordered a vegetarian Caesar salad. All Jains are strict vegetarians so I was trying to be respectful to him and not eat meat. That's when it happened. I was served this....plate of anger.

It tasted as bad as it looks omg! I got down one bite and said NOPE. Whatever dressing that was....wasn't Caesar. I think I woke up that night an slammed a small bag of potato chips to pull me through.

To please my friend I tasted his grilled anger, I mean paneer. It was like bland white jello, but angrier because it was grilled. He loved it! I'm also convinced he's a demon.

After that hot mess we hopped in a tuk tuk and went jewelry shopping. Personally, I LOVE riding in these. They are bumpy, sometimes cold, and usually have 5 zillion people (local) packed into them, but I love it. They're a cheap ride and I always look forward to them.

As an early birthday gift, and partly out of guilt for not being able to hang out as much as he hoped, Jain took me to the jewelry shop his mom goes to. In India there really isn't any "old" lady versus "young" lady jewelry. Unless they are buying something foreign, you will see the same styles on everyone. In India they don't treat old women as old or young women as young. It's like there are kids and adults. That's it. I like it. After searching through several options I chose these:

He bought them both which I did not expect or intend, but I am forever thankful for such beautiful gifts. It also calmed me down after the nasty tofu debacle.

I bought some bracelets. In India women and bracelets are EVERYTHING.

They look like the bracelets I see carved into the temples. Apparently the latest thing is to study what's carved in the temples then recreate the designs for modern jewelry. I love it. After shopping I went back up to my room and Jain hopped on his scootee and headed home. The next day I'd be visiting his new shop and seeing more monkeys!